Bimwe mubyo wirinda mu minsi ya mbere umenyanye n’uwo wakunze

Ku bantu benshi iyo ukimenyana n’umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa uba ushaka kwerekana ko ari we kintu cyonyine witayeho, ushaka kumwumvisha urukundo umufitiye rimwe na rimwe ukanabikora utaramenya icyo we agutekereza ho. Ibi rero inshuro nyinshi bigukoraho kurusha uko bigufasha, kuko kenshi bituma mugenzi wawe yibaza imico usanganywe ituma muba mukimenyana ukaba umushaka bigeze aho, ibyiza ni uko wamugenza gahoro ukamwereka ko mbere y’uko mumenyana wariho kandi neza. Ibi ndi byose biza nyuma mumaze kuba couple yemewe.

Hano rero ndagira ngo tuganire gatoya ku byo umuntu aba agomba kudakora mu minsi ya mbere.

* Iyo uri mu kiganiro

wigerageza ibintu byo kwerekana ko mumenyeranye cyane byatuma uhubuka mu magambo, icyo gihe uba utsinzwe si ibanga. Ganira nawe ibintu biganirwa n’abantu babiri bashaka kumenyana, uvuge ibikwiye kandi neza ibyo wibagiwe uzabivuga ubutaha. Kandi si byiza n’ubundi gushaka kumvikanisha ko uri umwana mwiza…ntacyo bimara.

* Kwitihutisha ibintu

Gushyira ingufu mu kumvisha mugenzi wawe ikintu iki n’iki sibyo na mba keretse igihe mwabaye inshuti bya nyabyo kuko mwembi muba mufite inshingano mugomba kuzuza. Waba rero uri kumubwira uti “nyabuneka tujyane gusura umurwayi…” cyangwa indi mpamvu… icya ngombwa si impamvu ituma ushyira ingufu mu gusaba ikibazo ni “kuki wumva ko kuva mwamenyanye agomba kwemera ibyo ushaka”. Iyo umubwira ibintu nk’ibyo mukimenyana bituma yibaza nimugumana noneho bizagenda bite?

* Kumenya icyo usabwa (ku muhungu)

Benshi ntibabyitaho gusa niyo mpamvu benshi bibakoraho, biragoye guhabwa indobo utabonye. Ahubwo nuko uba warayirengagije mbere y’uko iza. Niba uri kuganira n’umukubwa akenshi aba akwereka icyo atekereza inyuma (body language), ubona ashaka ko umubwira ku kintu runaka gishakishe ukivuge, niba ubona adashaka amagambo yawe, ceceka uzongere ejo nabwo nibyanga ubireke, nukomeza guhata uzatuma we ubwo akubwira ati “ ihangane, ariko njye nawe ndabona bitashoboka” ubwo ntazaba ayikunagiye? Kandi kubera ibintu utitaye ho.

* Kwitwara neza kuri telephone

Aho ziziye zo zizakora… niba mukimenyana ibintu byanyu bitaragera kure, wikwiha guhamagara nijoro wivugisha ukuntu!!! Nibwo wumva akubajije ati “ ko uvuga gutyo wabaye iki” ubwo nawe indahiro ukayiha umunwa uti “ce”. Mu minsi ya mbere ni byiza cyane ko utanga ibiganiro bya gishuti bisanzwe, ukirinda za “ndagukumbuye” muri sms, kuko bitera ikibazo. Gaunda ya mbere iba ari uko akumenya nawe ukamumenya ibindi byose ni nyuma, kuri telephone rero ugomba kumenya ko yita kuri buri jambo wavuze rimwe na rimwe akaba ashobora no kubiganiraho na mugenzi we, urumva ibikubaho rero iyo wavuze nabi.

* Kuganira ku buzima bwahise

Mu minsi ya mbere umenyana n’umuntu ntabwo ari ngombwa ariko si na byiza guhita ugenda umubwira ibyawe byose. Kuko byo mbere yo kumumenya uba waragize ubundi buzima, cyangwa se undi mukunzi. Ibyo si byiza kubihisha ariko tegereza igihe kigere, iyo mumenyeranye nibwo uba ushobora kumubwira ku buzima ubamo niba se warigeze kugira indi nshuti…ni byiza ko abimenya kuko iyo abimenye nyuma Atari nawe ubimubwiye bishobora kujegeza umubano wanyu.

* Menya aho ugarukira

Kwihutisha ibintu ntabwo akenshi bitanga igisubizo cyiza, mu gihe ukimenyana n’umuntu wifuza ko mumenyana, gerageza umuhe umwanya wimuhamagara buri kanya, ngo ujye kumusura buri kanya…ntabwo ari byiza kuko ku nshuro nyinshi bituma yibaza Impamvu ikwihutisha bigeze aho.

Simbi